As Jadeveon Clowney arose from a tube, shaking off his electronically induced slumber, he thought to himself:
"Hm. I am better than most people in this life."
He looked to his left. There was a giant window overlooking the great superhero training ground called Rock Hill or "The Rock," as some call it.
"This is the day," he thought. The day of choice. The day of hearts and love. The day that "The Clowninator" chooses a tribe.
As he pulled on his Cross Lateral Extreme Motion Suit, Undulated-X, (or the Clemsux for short), he breathed in deep, knowing he had chosen well.
Now, to reveal it to the masses.
Moments later, (because The Clowninator can teleport, you know...into the backfield, or wherever he pleases) he lumbered up to his training school, where the South Carolina press was waiting to hear his announcement.
The anticipation was growing with every sound the Clemsux made.
On the table, there was a Clemson hat, which he promptly lit on fire, an Alabama hat and a South Carolina hat.
No one knew which hat would adorn his bionic head.
On one side, you have the Alabama Crimson Tide. A legendary tribe, with a legendary coach and legendary talent. Combined with his superior talents and strength, the Crimson Tide could remain one of the most amazing super-tribes in the land. Even without him, they are.
On the other, the underachieving, yet rising, South Carolina Gamecocks. Who needed another hero? Two of the world's best, Marcus "Freight Train" Lattimore and Alshon "Optimus" Jeffery (see what I did there?), roam, but it wasn't enough, as South Carolina fell victim to a tribe of Tigers led by the most expensive super-hero ever built, Cam "Moneybags" Newton.
The choice was clear.
He placed the Gamecock hat on his head. A gang of angels sang out. Jesus wept. Clemson fans burned their "All-In" shirts. Every Gamecock (both literally, and figuratively) crowed at that exact moment.
The press wanted to ask questions to the gargantuan hunk of machine, a machine that could slam a revolving door, or draw fresh squeezed orange juice from an apple, but his circuitry would not allow it. His focus had been set, and he was headed to join his tribe in Columbia, to unite with Optimus and Freight Train.
One question, however, got under his skin.
"Why the Gamecocks? You could have gone anywhere in the world!"
He slowly turned around, looked at the small, quaking reporter, and said, "Ask me that again in February...oh, and you will find me in Louisiana. But for now...I have some Pirates to prepare for."
Then he slowly turned away to start his incredible journey as a Hero of Gamecock Nation.
Thanks for indulging me in this...I am not a fantasy/sci-fi geek, but I was inspired by the amazing picture drawn by artist Ang Lee and the new twitter account @clowneyfacts.
I will be back to my regular Gamecock material... but thanks for letting me have some fun and making it through the whole story!
It's great to be a Gamecock! As always, feel free to follow me on Facebook.
Tyler Eckford Mark Fraser Andy Greene zach Parise bryce Salvador Wade Belak
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